Completely out of focus right now. I’d blame the coffee, but we all know it’s more of a “me” issue.

On my docket tonight was supposed to be a review of the newest Jim Noir album, entitled “Jim Noir”. I’ve got notes, I’ve listened to the CD a bunch, but I can’t put anything down that feels complete. I like it. But I need to say more than that.

Turning on the new NIN album isn’t helping much either, though it calms the caffeine jitters a bit.

Just had an IM conversation with an old school chum. Strangely surreal, at least on my end. I never talk to anyone from back home, or even my past. I’m a bit of a bridge burner. But I was fascinated to talk to this guy, find out about his job, his girlfriend, his life. He sounds great… almost settled. I wanted to take the dude out for a drink, talk about basketball or something — definitely not the good old days — and really get to know him again. But I’m twenty-five hundred miles away.

For just a tiny moment, in the back of my head, running off to Seattle seemed like a bad idea.

I love Seattle, and I truly call it home. But I’ve got this idea planted in my head that my happiness might be too location-based. Which, having typed that out, doesn’t feel quite right. Or maybe i just don’t want it to be. Maybe I just want to have something to show for 26 years of life aside from a few witty sentences and a sackful of emotional scars.

But aren’t the emotional scars just as important as everything? It’s easy to say I wish I didn’t have them, but that’s probably not correct. I want them to be meaningful, to have served a purpose.

This is turning into some esoteric bullshit, isn’t it?

Julian told me once to do whatever it is I’m going to do at 100%. Smart motherfucker.I hate it when he’s right. And I wish he was a music writer, so he could talk me through this block I’m having.

If figures that a brand-new, possibly Year Zero-related Nine Inch Nails album would drop right when I’m in the middle of deadline hell. So while I’d rather be listening to The Slip, which you can download absolutely for free, and dissecting whatever the hell it’s about, I’ve gotta listen to Bearsuit’s piece of shit LP.

Actually, I’m focusing on the new Jim Noir and last Saturday’s DeVotchKa concert. So it’s not all bad. But this NIN album has be intrigued. Expect more on it later.

I’ve slipped into bad blogger mode again. Not a lot of time to fix that now, but let me leave you with some links.

Super Fancy Good - My bare bones Tumblr with fancy new name and goofy pictures.
TIG - Show reviews here and here. I’ve got a stack of CDs to review and the DeVotchKa show to write about as well.
Vimeo - Only one vid up so far. I’ve got a lot to edit and such before I get more up. Dogs are cool.

And I’m back, more or less, on the Twitter.

Oops, just missed my bus for the movie tonight. Lots to talk about. More soon.

The URL’s been changed. I’m going to attempt to get things under control - First thing’s first: Email - and get some sort of focus going here. Not much is changed aesthetically yet … I’m still looking at WP themes and wondering if i can’t just make some changes to this one. I feel a bit of a logo design in my future, too. Still trying to decide if I want to blow up all the content and start fresh. Blogosphere Suicide.

Truth be told, i spent more time relaunching the tumblelog, Super Fancy Good. And most of that time was spent hacking their weird version of CSS to get the logo on. Finally I cheated.

So what’s the plan? I’ve got my first gig for TIG tomorrow night, so I’ll have a bit of presence there if everything works out. This site will be general text babbling, commentary on little news things and whatnot. What I was enjoying writing a few months ago. SFG will be for multimedia, mostly video if everything works out this weekend like I want it to.

Do I have aspirations of becoming some Internet micro-celebrity? No. But I want to do something fun again. I guess I’m inspired.

Don’t know if anyone is looking at this yet, but if you are: Hello.

I think we’re going to start over. Start again.

Changes are coming.

On my plate this week:

• Play Final Fantasy: Ring of Fates for possible review w/Ashley

• Play Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened for possible review/possible fun
• Take Macbook Pro to Apple Store to figure out why my keyboard input will freeze spontaneously, even after the keyboard update.
• Buy bus pass — DO THIS TOMORROW
• Blog more
• Eat your greens

It takes a special kind of vanity to post your To-Do list on your blog. Wouldn’t the point of this be that I regularly read my own blog? Unfortunately I don’t, just like the rest of you.*

*It’d help if Cory updated more. Jerk.

At this current moment, my eyes are fighting each other over who gets to focus.

Eyes aren’t supposed to do this. The left eye and the right eye are supposed to work together for the common good of seeing things. Work together. But my eyes would prefer to push and shove each other like two very young siblings who want the same G. I. Joe. This results in the freakish display of my eyes going googily, as well as frequent headaches.

When I was a toddler, I had surgery to correct this problem. I’ve worn glasses with prisms in them ever since.

Except now it’s happening again. Which means I either need new glasses (yes) or I need surgery (please, no).

The new, 100% harsher lights at work do not help this problem. Nay, they make everything much worse. Fuck you, worky lights.

As a sign that I desperately need to do something about this, Doc Longenbaugh’s daughter just added me on Facebook. Alright, Fates, I’m paying attention. I’ll call the doctor tomorrow. Please don’t go creepy Tarot on me.

***

Along the same lines, I feel like I need a haircut, an eyebrow wax, a manicure and a shave. I’ve been told that shaving and the haircut should be optional, as people like my indie beard inspired by Throw Me The Statue. I think they’re crazy. Who listens to people anyway? I get all my news from the Internet.

In a fit of desperation with the state of my company and my dissatisfaction with the world, I went to Melissa and essentially freaked the fuck out. She took it in stride, listening to me rant and rave. My idealism and naivety was on full display and she was very patient and kind.

Then she blew my mind.

Mel’s lived life pretty fully. Traveled through southeast Asia, lived in Florence for a year, made friends and kept in contact. She understands the pseudo-artistic mindset I live in, even when I’m pretending to be okay with this marketing bullshit. We’ve both wanted out for a while and have been encouraging each other towards a better career. She’s just a better cheerleader than I am.

She suggested I live abroad. She suggested I teach English in Japan.

“It’s a two-year commitment, though.” She said. Gee, I have to live in Japan for two years? That would be tragic.

So now I’m seriously thinking about it, Googling up info and sending her excited texts. This is the kind of idea that gets under ones skin, as I’ve seen in the past.

Crazy? Maybe. But I don’t have a lot to anchor me down, and I’m hard pressed for excuses not to at least look into it.

Thoughts?

Let me just apologize for this ahead of time.

Thanks to Melissa’s brother for the link.

… is my newest piece at GWJ. Read it here and leave a comment, would you kindly?